Asia: Mommy, mommy look at how cute this is!!
Me: Oh yes honey that is adorable.
Asia: Can I have it?
Me: No.
I learned (maybe a little late) that I had to stop buying my daughter every single little thing she wanted. Not only was it breaking the bank, but I felt that it was sending her a very wrong message. I started noticing that her emotions were linked to whether or not she would walk out of a store with what she thought she truly NEEDED. Hmmmmm, I wonder where she's getting this from? Well, I tell you no lie, I love shopping! I've even been excited to buy her toys that she wasn't even begging for to then in a couple of months find myself chucking it into the donate bag. And this is why it was even more important to me that she grow up free from the lie that your purchases will make you feel better. I know tons of women who would tell me: Tanya, stop it right there. Okay I'm there, I get it, therapy shopping can be super therapeutic and very very fun. But ultimately should not be anyones source of confidence. I've bought things and have felt better, but whatever the issue was to begin with still existed after my spree.
We now buy Asia (and the other girls too, but they haven't started asking. Yet!) things on her birthday, Christmas and the ending of the school year. Of course little treats on Valentines and Easter. Now trust me, she is no way near deprived. There are enough toys in my house to start two day cares. And even when the bank can tolerate a stretch, we have decided to forgo the extra "things". Here's why: Responsibility and Accountability. So here's what I did: Asia, why don't we see what you have in your piggy bank at home. You can keep 80% of it, but 10% has to go back in the bank, and another 10% you have to give back to God. This particular day that I started this she had $10 in her bank. I can't tell you how excited she was that she was able to keep a majority of the money and also how very excited she was when she learned that she would be taking a dollar to church with her and giving it to her Sunday school teacher.
Part of why shopping doesn't do what it used to do for me is because there are so many people in need. I may not be able to save the world, but I can give one day at a time of my resources and my time, and move forward as God guides me. It is so very important for my girls to know that the Lord is our provider, regardless of who employes us. And He is due what His Holy Word says He is due.
It was a gratifying feeling teaching Asia that if she can afford something then she can have it, and that money is to be respected and not to be held too tightly. Giving is a wonderful and powerful act. Money is the hardest thing for humans to loosen their grip on and if she can grasp that God wants no other gods before Him (money), she will truly be a step ahead when her time comes to manage her own life.
Give Unto the Lord............
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