Let me start with admitting my human faults and the truth of my lack of any degrees or certificates in theology or any other subject. In no way do I perceive myself to be superior to anyone. I am only very hungry for God and crave His presence in everything I do; and so while I seek Him, it is on my heart to share what I find to be the truth. God is salting me and I love it!
Todays subject is about the blessing and cursing that comes out of our mouths. How we so easily say: Oh bless her heart, and then when that same woman crosses us, we curse her, saying unspeakable things. Oh how I struggle with this. Sometimes people do things that are really mean, crazy, unthoughtful and rightfully so we become upset. Now dealing with those hurts and responses to those hurts are really a whole other subject. What I want to look at is my behavior in response to wrong doing towards me in front of my children.
How we react can make all the difference in the world in how they will deal with circumstances in their lives, in their future. Even when my girls seem like they are not listening, bet you a million bucks, they are! So when I'm driving and I get cut off by some racing lunatic, I'm urged not to say something like: what an idiot, I hope he gets a ticket for driving like that; but something more like: Oh boy I hope everything is okay with that person. God bless them and convict them in their driving. That driver could have a thousand reasons to be driving like that. A woman could be in labor, about to give birth in the car. They could be trying to reach a dying parent to whisper their last good-byes. They could just be an impatient, irresponsible person. I mean the list is endless and the truth is we'll never know, so it really comes down to making a decision to either speak a blessing or a curse. I find it desirable to speak blessings and I most certainly want my girls to speak blessings and to realize the incredibly huge fact that there is power in words. People wrongfully judge me all the time and the injustice of that really is an ugly thing. A cycle that surely deserves to be changed.
Then there are more personal instances. When someone close to me offends me and pisses me off. It has happened and it will happen again. I am human, I get upset, I get hurt; but losing my temper in front of my children is becoming less and less acceptable to me. (Forgiveness is crucial and relevant, but entirely another subject.) My reaction will teach them. They are their own little human beings and have their individual temperaments, but they are teachable, and will pick up a lot of things from us as parents. There are times when we do have fall outs with others in front of our children. I hear so much of how unhealthy it is for parents to argue in front of their children, and yes that is not a cool thing. Does it happen? It does in this household. We disagree on something and the super ego in us absolutely cannot wait until later to prove why I am right!! Or he is right (which is never :) Joking. Up to this point in my life what has mattered most is that my children see us make up. We are human, and they can see that. We apologize, we forgive, we move on. (Sometimes not in that order, sometimes we are called to forgive without an apology.) I still believe in that theory, but I am beginning to tweak my behavior. I'm realizing that I want my children to respect their future mates (and all other people) and expect the same in return. To agree to disagree. This particular subject is touchy and has endless scenarios, so I'll move on.
Even if we hold our tongue just for their sake, it would be worth it. Every single person has their own thing they are dealing with; and God loves them just as much as He loves us! And with practicing controlling our tempers in front of our children, it just may do an awesome work in us; leading us to a better place with ourselves and with the world as a whole.
Be Blessed & Speak Blessings......
"Oh bless her heart, and then when those same women cross us, we curse her, saying unspeakable things. Oh how I struggle with this"
ReplyDeleteI first would like to say...Thank you for reminding me that this is "human" nature. I too struggle with this, and I also look to god for his mercy in situations like that. I am the type of person that does not know how to respond to situations quickly and swiftly. I'm the type that always becomes shocked and has no response and then turns around and secretly hold a grudge. "Terrible" this can eat you up and destroy relationships. I worry if I don’t stand up for myself how will my son stand up for himself???? How do I learn this skill so that my children learn how to respond to un-thoughtful comments? Words are power, human don’t seem to realize how a person’s words can scorn you. In turn I myself must watch how I speak to my husband and my son. Knowing how hurt I can become when someone crosses the line, I should be extra couscous with my actions and words. I will pray on this tonight because it makes me think ….how can I gain control over situations like this and incorporate god like behavior and response… to these very relevant circumstances.
Great question! Neither am I witty when responding to an offense. But I do have a theory. I believe that hurt people seek to hurt others. You've heard the saying: Misery loves company. It saddens me more than angers me when I think of it though. I think when people lash out in cruelty or carelessness with their words, it is a result of their pain; not of their true selves. For me, it is vital that my children know that other peoples perceptions of them does not equal who they are. What a bad feeling growing up believing that you ARE other peoples ideas of who you are. I also believe with all of my heart and soul that there is strength in humility. God perfects His own strength in our weakness. I will teach my girls that the power in praying for all types of people is key in our walk in this world. They are daughters of The Most High King and so is your son, and so are we. So I ask myself: why do I even have to contend, we are all children of God. My practice right now is seeking the Holy Spirit; that He may dwell in me and I in Him. So that when the human in me, my flesh, rises up and I have lost my composure, the Spirit takes control. I alone cannot do it. Only by pursing God can I make the best choices for myself and my family.
ReplyDeleteOr, if I may add, on those occasions when I don't lose my composure but instead shrink with confusion and become too shocked to respond, may God also be with me. God changes our character, and if you have the desire to be more vocal because you feel that is more honoring to yourself, it is very likely that God will support you in that and sprinkle your tongue with the spirit of boldness. I believe when our prayers are aligned with His will all solutions will be fulfilling.
ReplyDeleteYou really brought up an excellent point. Thank you for sharing your feelings. I will pray in agreement with you that God enlightens you as to how to address offenses and go forth. God bless you.
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