Do not judge, or you too will be judged. - Matthew 7:1

No matter the depth of conviction I feel toward judging, it is still a stubborn stronghold. And I'm not talking about the mom who is cursing at her child in the middle of Target. Or the teenager with the marijuana cigarette hanging from his lips. Not even the woman who is secretly having an affair! I'm talking about hard core evil.

I recently met a man who works with my husband. When I was introduced to him I realized that I had met him before, but I couldn't place him. While I was passing time he came up to me and said: isn't it crazy what happened in Japan? We started speaking about the state of our planet . Now let me describe this guy to you. Tattoos all over his body. Including the symbol of the devil on his inner arm. All of a sudden he tells me: Everyone has to get right with God because judgement day is coming! Huh? Really?! Did he just say that?!

He shared his testimony with me. After living a life of doing hard drugs, dating witches, going to dracula balls (where they drink real human blood, or cows blood), homosexuality, giving his life to satan, God called him! This was my first time meeting a former devil worshipper (or so I think) and I must say I was inspired! He told me how the father of lies had told him he was going to have a high position in hell, so he had nothing to worry about. Satan showed him the chambers of hell and swore he would have a position somewhat like that of a correction officer. He would be the guy keeping everyone under control as they tried climbing out of the lake of fire. He actually knew he was going to hell! And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire. - Revelation 20:15

One night while he was doing cocaine with his witch girlfriend, he hit rock bottom. The night turned into morning and being so high he beat the girl almost to death. He fell to the floor in despair. Flashbacks of his whole entire life started playing out in his mind. He said all he saw was death. Then: Come to my house on Tuesday. Really God? I thought church was on Sundays. Come to me.  So he went. He has been saved ever since! It was difficult in the beginning. There were many demons living inside of him and the pastor of the church had an extremely difficult time. He often cursed at the pastor and even physically attacked him. But glory to God that church never gave up on him, nor did God! I will never leave nor forsake you. - Hebrews 13:5 


There are also elders in the dark world, so he explained to me. One day, an elder approached him about his conversion to Christianity. He boldly professed his love for Jesus and witnessed the gospel! The elder told him: if I didn't know you, I would spit in your face! But he just kept on witnessing!  The joy that radiated from this man was incredible and a wonderful reminder that Jesus came for us ALL! He loves and cares and DIED for us sinners. You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. - Romans 5:6


What an important message to teach my children. The love of God is not prejudice. All are welcome into His bosom. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. - John 1:17 Everyone is accepted through Christ to a new life. We were all saved by grace. Thank you Jesus!

Will you please keep this young man in prayer; lets just call him G. Thank you.

In Love and Kindness.....
No Judging......

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galations 5:22-23

God in all His glory, His power, His vastness, chooses to share His character with us. I am so humbled by that fact.

My children are truly awesome. And I take credit for their compassionate, loving ways. For their good manners, for their creative souls. But now there are days when they are downright difficult; and that does not take away from their awesomeness. On those days, am I quick to take credit for their misbehavior? Not really. Who am I kidding, not at all. Until recently I realized the more they get to know me and dwell with me, they take on my character. Now of course I've always known that children watch and mimic their parents, but this new realization was different. Besides being unique individuals who are ultimately their own persons, they learn and cleave to my perceptions, my values, my ways of being. It is more than being a way because mommy said so. They model what they see to be correct, whether my behavior is correct or not.

When my girls are grown women (which sounds way too far off to be discussing now, but I truly believe is not) what is truly going to matter is their character (in my book anyway). Will they be living for God? Will they seek to please Him with all of their actions and all of their thoughts.  Jesus replied: Love the Lord your God with all your soul and with all your mind. - Matthew 22:37 It will be wonderful that they know how to play piano, or perform a stunning arabesque, but displaying patience in the midst of chaos, or  having the glow of joy radiating from their beings is without question, priceless. Giving to the needy and always willing to be of help to someone are characteristics I want to see in my girls.  Now am I always patient in the midst of chaos? Does joy emanate from my being every moment of every day? No. But this is my goal, and my inspiration lies within the bodies of three precious innocent little souls, whose very quality of life depends on my decisions. I want them to be women of virtue, displaying self-control in their ways and eager to please the Lord. I want to teach in the way that I live my life that I get the message of Jesus Christ. That He, my precious Lord did not die in vain. 

They are my inspiration, but the desire comes from the Lord. Just as my children follow in my ways so do the children of God follow in His ways when we dwell with Him. He is the Father of us all, willing and eager to walk with us, teach us, gently correct us, love us, and share with us His character.

Truth is God gets all the credit and glory for fashioning my little darlings, and conclusively their quality of life will depend on His will for their lives, but for now He has entrusted them to me and my husband. And we plan on being our very best for them, for they are learning from us every single day.

In Love and Kindness.....

Olivia Faith... Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift... 2 Corinthians 9:15

Olivia is the topic of the day as I just received an EOB (explanation of billing) for her time in the NICU. Her stay totals $451,634.53! Wow that is a lot of money! And a wonderful, accurate job they did in caring for my precious child, but she is here with us because God declared that she would be, and no price can be put on that. And so the story goes....

At twenty weeks pregnant I broke water; it was a slow leak. I knew something was not right, but never, ever did I think I had broke water. Honestly, I thought I had not thoroughly wiped, I know, gross!! But it was 2:00AM! And by the way, I did get up to wipe again, despite the time. Anyway two days and a lot of thorough wiping later, I had my first ultrasound. The technician asked me if I had some leaking because I had no fluid in my amniotic sac; she sent in the doctor. So first I was advised to abort, on the grounds that my baby would most likely be born stillborn. When they understood that was not one of my options they attempted to prepare me for what her birth would be like (of course we didn't know that she was a girl yet, with no amniotic fluid visibility of the womb is extremely low). Dr. Jabba the Hut (nicknamed by hubby, and a pretty accurate description) went on to describe what awaited me (very matter of factly yet sensitively). I would have a c-section because my prior two children were delivered like so, they would swaddle my baby in blankets to keep her dead body warm, and they would let me hold her. One of my besties accompanied me to this psycho appointment, and the woman was a wreck, rightfully so. She wept and wept and wept! But I couldn't weep. I just didn't connect with the sorrow of everything he was telling me. I looked him in the eye and told him: Well doctor, with all due respect science goes but so far. Don't get me wrong, I was extremely emotional; but I just couldn't own such a horrific outcome just yet. So the plan became that if I made it to twenty four weeks pregnant, they would hospitalize me. Monitor me for infections and keep a steady eye on baby. If I caught an infection, without question they would deliver me immediately, apparently that would have put my life in danger; I could die. Now before admitting me they had to have proof that my sac had actually ruptured, so they proposed performing a procedure where they would insert fluid into my belly via a needle. A bigger needle than the one used to perform an amniocentesis, and they would keep the needle in my precious baby's delicate space about quadruple the time longer. They would dye the fluid blue and then have me insert a tampon. When the blue fluid stained the tampon they would know that I had indeed ruptured my membranes. Okay, call me crazy, but that was just too invasive! I pled my case. Doctors, please tell me how this procedure makes any kind of sense?! I'll never forget my husbands expression. He looked so helpless. He knew it didn't make any sense, but being so worried about me, he tried to get me to reason. I was reasoning! The doctors left us to talk, they returned in agreement that they would hospitalize me, all of a sudden realizing that the lack of fluid in my amniotic sac and the leaking equaled a ruptured membrane! As one of the doctors was leaving the room he turned to ask my husband and I if we spoke spanish. Yes, we do. He went on to tell us that he had done some charity work in South America. Oh really doc, for Doctors Without Borders? No, missions for Jesus Christ!

I was hospitalized the very day after my eldest daughters first day of kindergarten! How heartbreaking!!! Being away from Asia and Sophia is a story in itself that I will get to at another time; they most certainly deserve their own story. Hubby took some time off to care for the girls (and since then there is a whole different level of appreciation and understanding for what I do ;) and my mom also helped with the girls. So here is an incredibly important point to my miraculous tale, I spent two weeks on bed rest in the hospital. I read, I journaled, but most of all I prayed.  I prayed for the will of The Most High God, The Sovereign Lord Almighty to be done. I actually came to terms with the possibility of giving birth to a breathless little angel. I had so much faith in the pure truth that God ALWAYS works for good that I surrendered my needs, my wants, my plans to Him. I knew in the core of my being that if He allowed any such dark outcome it was for my good. Doesn't sound so bright, so upbeat, so godly. or so GOOD, but that was the truth of His holiness inscripted on my heart. That is where my relationship with Him went.

During my stay some very tragic things happened to some of my roommates. Out of respect for them I will not go there, but my heart will always be scarred for some of the unspeakable tradgedies. I remember one particular afternoon hearing an alarming bell ringing throughout the corridor to later find out a young mom had lost her life in childbirth. So many days and nights I felt so overwhelmed. I would pray for some women as if I knew them all my life.

My stay was challenging and extremely emotional, but I tried my best to focus my thoughts on the blessings of healing and restoration. Two weeks later, I resealed! I was the talk of the hospital. It had never been heard of, but there I was with a beautiful round healthy looking belly! I was overjoyed. I came home. It was bliss, reunited with my beloved family.

Two weeks pass, I am now twenty eight weeks pregnant and my water breaks again. Oh no!! This time there was no mistaking it, there was a huge gush. And how did I wake up ten seconds before the incident at 3:00AM to make it to the bathroom will always be a wonder to me. Back to the hospital I go. Two weeks pass and I begin to bleed, they tell me thats normal. Oh really? Because pregnancy and bleeding to me don't go together. Not this kind of bleeding anyway; it was heavy. I insisted on getting an ultra sound and was repeatedly denied because Olivia (we now know her gender and her name!) was showing no sign of distress. They were very kind to me in the hospital, but I was now a little confused and frustrated. An old school, experienced doctor finally came in to see me. Dr. Rivera! She asked how long had I been in that state, she was not happy with the answer being a whole day and a half. She said: Prep her! It happened all so fast. Next thing I know precious Olivia was out of my belly, passed through a window to a waiting neonatologist. No first cry, no quick peek, just the fact that she was alive. It was enough. Despite the ache in my entire body to hold her, to kiss her, to nurse her. One of the doctors came to talk to us after my surgery. He started with: I am not very religious, but Olivia is a miracle. Apparently my placenta had abrupted, I had a true knot in my cord, and of course overall I had broken water at twenty weeks. She was a healthy 3 lbs. 1 oz. That may sound tiny, but for a baby who had a very challenging atmosphere to develop in, she was a good weight, surprisingly so. So now I'm stitched up and back in my room when one of the doctors comes in. Immediately I knew something was wrong. Mr. and Mrs. Morales we'd like to take you back to the NICU. I'm sorry but your baby is going to die and we think you both should be with her, and get to hold her. Oh Jesus, nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please Father in Heaven hear me!!! I don't remember my entire prayer, just that I voiced it loud and through a multitude of tears. I must have woken up every single woman on that floor as they wheeled me to my daughter. It was 4:00AM. When I first laid eyes on her she was blue. But I knew, immediately that she would be alright. A peace came over me. I was now like the woman in the bible who refused to accept the death of her son. It was not an option. Her dying was not something I could handle. I looked at my husband and said baby it's going to be okay. We will name her Faith.. Olivia Faith. A cardiologist was needed to diagnose her illness and then they would administer the proper medicine, but the hospital did not have a round the clock cardiologist. There was pure panic in the faces of every single nurse and doctor in that station. And then, well what do you know, there happens to be a cardiologist here, right now, on the premises. He'll be here in ten minutes. Everything under and above the sun was working for the life of my baby girl. God was directing all the events!

A lot of oxygen, two blood transfusions, high intensity photo therapy, tons and tons of iv fluids and lab work, and all sorts of medicines later, we took our baby home. Exactly a seven week stay. I spent every single one of those days with her. Arriving at 9:00AM and retiring at 9:00PM, sometimes 10, sometimes 11. Pumping my breast milk every three hours. Oh boy sometimes I wanted to throw that machine against the wall. Just out of exhaustion and frustration, but mostly I was thankful for such a machine. I remember when we had gone back to the room after being with her those first crucial hours, it was 6:00AM. I couldn't sleep, but was going in and out of some drug induced form of rest. At 8:00AM the lactation specialist came in with my breast pump: Oh I know you're not ready to pump, I'll just leave this right over here. Oh yes I am ready, bring that pump to mama... And so began my relationship with my breast pump.

Olivia is now an exquisite, healthy, five and a half month old who just had her first organic rice cereal today! Words can never truly embody what she means to us. She is an extension of Gods power, His mercy, His faithfulness, His realness. She is our very own miracle....

I am her and she is me....

P.S. If you or someone you know ever has a baby in the NICU, I encourage you, please spend time with your baby. Your baby does know the difference between you and a nurse! And your voice, your song, your touch could be the very best medicine in the world!!

For everything there is a season. - Ecclesiastes 3:1

In an effort to have an intentionally fun packed summer I am making a list of some things I'd like to do with my girls over the season. Of course since it's summer it's all about being laid back and enjoying ourselves in a carefree manner, so this list is subject to change.. :)

Stargazing, swimming, devotionals, gourmet homemade dinners where we all dress in our finest attire, dance contests (where everyone is the winner :), baking, strawberry picking, picnics, bike riding, trips to ice cream parlor at dusk, museums, zoo, online reading programs, creation journal (taking snap shots of God in nature), outdoor movies, sand castles, roller skating, fellowship, catching lightning bugs, library, dancing in the rain, aquarium, setting up paint shop in the garage for the artist in us all, barbecues, storytelling by the fire pit, camping, writing a letter once a week to a family member/friend, play dates, fireworks, making waffles, water balloon fight, nature trails, fishing, boating, snow cones, carnival, horseback riding, hopscotch, porch side reading, sprinklers....

Have A Blessed Summer!!!

"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. - Ephesians 4:26-7

Oh boy, I almost lost it today!!! I seriously cannot remember the last time I felt so ANGRY. Well today made up for the lost time. I was shaking, sweating, hyperventilating. It was horrific. No it wasn't at my children, thank God. Though they are capable of wearing out my emotions sometimes this anger was a type of demon. Someone insulted me, and kind of insulted my daughters. I was very very hurt and today was the blow that tipped my scale into a ferocious state. Everything in me wanted to insult, wanted to shame, and wanted offend this person. And I could have easily done so, but God! My flesh was even reasoning that in fact it would have been okay to "stoop" because everything I was itching to convey to this person was all the truth anyway. The truth shall set you free right? Wrong! Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. - John 8:32 This scripture is referring to Gods word. Gods word is the truth: Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. - 1 Peter 3:9. And a blessing I did inherit, and that blessing was peace!


A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult - Proverbs 12:16. I am a work in progress. I am still a fool, but God in me, humbled my flesh and brought about my victory that I may not dishonor Him. It took a lot, I mean a lot of deep breathing and calling on the name of Jesus like a million times (okay not a million, it was more like one hundred thousand) to calm down. The Prince of Peace was my Helper today; He was my Wise Counselor. I confronted the person through a phone call, which was difficult for me because I dislike confrontation. But God called me to that action, and not by my might, but by the might of the faithful Jesus Christ was I able to maturely, and effectively speak to this person.


Now mind you, this was all in front of my children. And I must admit, while in the midst of my rage, I came very close to misdirecting my anger at my innocent six year old who just happened to speak at the wrong time. But God! I almost made a dent that I'm sure would have been a childhood memory for my daughter, but God! In my eagerness to raise my children to know the Lord, I HAD to exercise composure. If not handled anger comes to kill, to destroy, to rob innocence. Anger was not going to have my precious children, leaving them confused and hurt. An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins. - Proverbs 29:22


Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the Lord, and He will deliver you. - Proverbs 20:22. All I can say is thank you Jesus for Your faithfulness. In my willingness to submit to You, You delivered me. I did nothing on my own! During the conversation I remained calm and even gained compassion for the person!!  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. - Ephesians 4:32 It's quite funny how the pride in me wanted to belittle this person by pointing out all of their flaws, but with Gods humble Spirit upon me, I just voiced my feelings and I more effectively got my point across. I even got an apology!! A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. - Proverbs 15:1 And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. - 2 Timothy 2:24  Because we are human we will undoubtely fall short of the glory of God, so when we sin, let us confess, repent, and move on. For indeed our God is Just to forgive us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. - 1John 1:9 Honestly, I felt great afterwards. Because I remained calm, I was actually a blessing to this person. I even prayed for my assaulter, and best of all, I did not give the devil a foothold. Praise be to Jesus who is our deliverer. Call on Him, trust in Him, lean on Him. He is Life!! He gives peace!! Thank You my Lord....


Be Blessed...................
Do Not Give The Devil A Foothold............